"Thank you for bringing me home"

Letter to Editor May, 2004

 

Dear Editor,

First, I would like to express my heartfelt thanks to friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, and other community members who have taken the time to reach out during this very, very difficult time. I appreciate every thought, word, and deed.

It has been just over a month since I last saw Alecia, my beautiful, amazing, wonderful, everything daughter. I ache to see her smile or hear her laugh, to talk with her, hold her hand, hug her, and kiss her cheek. It hurts beyond words, and every day hurts a little more.

This grief is hard enough, but recently I heard something that compounded the already unbearable pain. Since hearing this story, I have tried a hundred times or more to not write the rest of this letter, but I feel compelled to speak out. I will protect and stand up for my sweet daughter- forever.

The last week of school, I heard from what I believe to be a reliable source, that some of Alecia’s former classmates had been walking through the halls of their school saying things like- Ha! Ha! Alecia’s dead! Yeah, We’re glad Alecia’s dead!

I can’t even begin to tell you what hearing these words did to my heart! I am shocked and deeply hurt. I am also angry and disappointed that there appear to be youth in our community, who would be so insensitive, rude, cruel, and thoughtless. Unfortunately, when questioned about it, the classmates who were said to have overheard these hurtful remarks would not tell on their friends and corroborate the story, so nothing further could be done.

I can do something though. I can write this letter. If it reaches one child it will have been worth writing.

Somewhere out there lies the truth about these hurtful remarks, and while I may never know exactly what that is, I will make this plea- if you are the parent(s) of a child who was ever one of Alecia’s classmates, please talk to him or her about compassion, empathy, and respecting the pain of others. Don’t let your children be mean, hurtful, inconsiderate bullies. Don’t let them sit on the truth and fail to protect the innocent. Share with them this letter so that they know how terribly hurtful and wrong these types of actions can be.

It is unfortunate and unfair that Alecia was the subject of harassment and teasing by these same classmates first in life, but it is repulsive, revolting, offensive, unthinkable and horribly, terribly wrong that it continued in death! Alecia lived her life by the Golden Rule and there is nothing she ever could have done to deserve such meanness! Instead, she is an inspiration because of her sweet, kind, gentle nature- even in the face of adversity For example:

When we came home in April, following the complications of the bone marrow transplant, Alecia was in a great deal of pain, and was also dealing with countless emotions relating to the seriousness of her homecoming. Even then, after everything she had faced and was continuing to go through, she raised her head and in the softest of voices said to the ambulance drivers, “ Thanks for bringing me home.”

I am, and forever will be, incredibly proud of Alecia for so many, many things, not the least of which are- being so amazingly strong and brave, always taking the high road, and remaining so thoughtful, sweet, kind, and caring through it all. I sincerely hope that you will talk to your children, think twice before saying unkind things, and learn at least one, if not a million lessons from the way Alecia lived her life.

Alecia made her mark on this earth- a positive mark! You have the same opportunity- be brave! Treat others with compassion, kindness, and respect. Make your mark. I hope that you will continue to remember Alecia by making this world a better place because she was here.

(I love you “mostest” and forever babes! And I miss you tons!)

Jan Louder

Evanston , WY